The Stronger

Mdme X: Why are you silent? You haven't said a word this whole time, but you have let me go on talking! You have sat there, and your eyes have reeled out at me all these thoughts which lay like raw silk in its cocoon--thoughts--suspicious thoughts, perhaps. Why did you break your engagement? Why do you never come to our house any more? Why won't you come to see us tonight? [Mlle. Y appears as if about to speak] You needn't speak--I understand it all!"

excerpt from The Stronger, by August Strindberg

Our acquaintance has been so uncanny. When I saw you for the first time I was fascinated by you. You seemed quiet and timid, though hardly shy. What I did not know was that you were so fascinated by me you could not let me out of your sight. What I did not know then was that you didn’t dare have me for an enemy, and were desparately trying to become my friend. Perhaps you wanted to know what I had that you did not, since I was sleeping with a man who had rejected you. As a foreigner, vulnerable in your familiar territory and language, I must admit that I was flattered by your attention. But when I invited you to my home, there was always discord. Was it because you really couldn’t stand me, my vulnerability, my candidness, my weaknesses as well as my energy and creativity? Or was it because I couldn’t stand you, your insecurity, your obsequiousness, the strength of your silence and territorial nature? Or was it because my fiancé was so uncomfortable in your presence, that our relationship was as awry as an ill-fitting gown? I did everything I could to make him like you, without success. But then, when he and I separated, an intensive friendship developed between you and me. You nestled close, confided in me, and it looked all at once as though you dared to show your real feelings. You told me that you had been hurt him, and that he had rejected you for me. Strangely enough, I wasn’t jealous! Mostly curious, like you. Then your father, with whom you were very close and had very mixed feelings, died. You said that you were confused. You told me that you were at odds with your mother, your siblings. That was when I suggested that you get away, go abroad, visit my family, and view your world from another perspective, as I had done in a similar situation. And then, what happened then?

And then I recall the christening...

tbc.