Had you known

Stockholm, Sweden

Dear Polly (with a future, a.k.a. Grandma Evelyn),

This morning, as I was biking up an incline on my way to work I passed a young mother with a 4-5 year old child on the back of her bike. I smiled at the young girl, whom I heard say to her mother:
“Mamma, an old lady is passing us.”
I heard her mother respond to the young girl:
“It is not an old lady, it is a woman.”

So , not only am I an “old bag”, but an “It”, neutralized of any possible age or erotic power.
I had to laugh as I considered the weight and fate of myself, a fleeting vision.

As I biked on, I recalled an evening – must have been in the sixties, in my teens – when you came to our home for dinner. I remember the fleeting sight of your hand, alongside mom’s and my own, on the dinner table. I recall thinking of the significance of age, how it marks our skin. My own hand was pink and supple, mom’s was drier and more mature, while yours was marked by age spots, elevated veins and distorted form. Now, my hands are like yours:

Pacific rings and Icelandic threads
Sit atop a surface seam in the Earth’s crust
Straddling two of the planet’s
tectonic puzzle pieces.

The last time Eya erupted,
Her angry big sister had yet to awaken.
Thus, as Katla continues to belch
the planet’s unsettled insides
scientists are carefully watching her.

Had you known what I know.
Now. No Never.
You would never
have wanted to know.
How everything would be
Nor would I nor anyone
for that matter
ever want to tell you.
No one ever told you
What I saw
If only someone else had
Seen what I…
Then you would
never ever know
what I knew what you knew
If we had only
known then
We would never.

Their nest is one of the most restless
The Fire is a marvel,
highly coveted Bird,
charmed by the wonder of the pen,
the spring sprite
eventually blames feathers
for all its troubles.
the bird sings by night
and pecks the golden fruit
at the mouth of a nearby crater
and is restored to life
after the destruction
and the forest
is reborn with her.

Forever,
Your granddaughter